sassykg • August 28, 2020

I confess I am (in some ways) a Facebook “lurker” or what some might call a FB voyeur. According to one online source the “official” Facebook lurker is “one who spends time on Facebook, but avoids making his/her presence known with comments, likes, or status updates.” This same internet search site claimed that “a true lurker blatantly mocks the regular Facebook users for posting information on the ubiquitous site, but acts as if he/she is never, well… lurking there.” I certainly do not disparage any of the people I follow on Facebook so I tried to come up with a term that better describes me. How about – I am a serial spectator?

Some of the FB posts I most enjoy are those that say “share if you know what this is”. They include images of everything from a rotary phone to pinball machines to LPs. Inevitably, I can recall the displayed images with pleasing nostalgia.

One post I came across recently reminded me of getting ready for a new school year. It was an image of school book covers made from brown paper. For sure, making those covers was a back to school ritual for me. I recall carefully cutting the stiff paper and scotch taping the corners to form a tight protective cover. My book covers were especially cost effective – made from brown paper grocery bags with the Safeway logo carefully turned inward so it was not visible.

Canada’s September long weekend is officially called Labour Day weekend but is colloquially referred to as the “September long”. Traditionally that weekend marks the end of summer and the return to a new school year. Early September weather in Winnipeg, where I attended school, is temperate and the countless elm trees lining the streets begin to showcase their vibrant fall colours. It is a lovely time to start school.

Winnipeg is the picturesque capital city of Manitoba and until recently it has been a well kept Canadian secret. A headline in a July 2020 article in the Edmonton Journal read: “Hang Your Hat on the Peg – Manitoba’s Capital Generates Buzz Well Beyond Portage and Main”. The report outlines the plethora of Winnipeg’s tourist sites including it’s world class zoo, the Canadian Human Rights Museum, the exchange district and the historic Forks area which marks the confluence of the Red and Assiniboine rivers.

I travelled the long distance from home to my all girls school on a city bus. The journey took over an hour each way with one transfer. Deadly cold in the freezing winter months, the trip was warm and pleasant in early September. The view from the windows of the two buses I rode was always awash with a tinge of emerging yellow and rich orange tones. It is a colourful and sentimental memory.

A uniform was required attire at my school and believe me the nuns who taught us were vigilant about checking whether we complied with the regulations. But on the first day of school we were granted a “pardon” from the standard dress. So like my friends who attended public school, I eagerly shopped for a first day of class outfit. It is just another fond memory of a back to school tradition.

Like most kids who return to school after summer holidays a highlight for me was reconnecting with classmates I had not seen since June. Excited screams, huge hugs and broad smiles were de rigueur as we entered our new classroom. The class sizes were big, usually over 30 students. The desks were in straight lines that were barely three feet apart making it easy to pass notes. We raced each other to get seats close to our friends. Close contact was welcomed and taken for granted.

Some things never change. After this “September Long” the kids in Alberta will restart school. The russet autumn leaves will be peeking through as usual and those who will attend in class and perhaps those online will be planning their first day of school outfits.

But somethings do change. And theses days, the Covid pandemic is the change agent. Back to school routine as my grandchildren and I last knew it will be vastly different next week.

Procedures for return to school in Canada differ from province to province and even from city to city within each province. Here in Alberta parents have a choice between online and in classroom learning. For those choosing the in class route, the emphasis is on hand washing and working hard at social distancing. Kids in grade 4 and up are required to wear masks in most Alberta cities. But according to the Calgary Herald the City of Calgary has mandated a tougher mask rule. “Calgary’s public and Catholic school districts are requiring K-12 students to wear masks to school this September, expanding upon provincial guidance that mandates only Grades 4-12.” The new rules are hardly customary procedure and are anything but routine!

As a former elementary school teacher I am well aware of the social niceties of young children. Sharing ideas and special toys are an integral part of kids’ everyday interactions. The social distancing and mask wearing is a challenge for adults. Double that for our youngest people. Kids have learned that sharing is caring!

Having said that, I have faith in children’s adaptability especially when being well taught and given the opportunity for practice and repetition. Whenever my grandchildren enter a house they automatically remove their shoes. This is a learned, encouraged and rewarded behaviour. The same can said for teaching children new school routines.

The published summary of Alberta’s school reentry information addresses shared items and says school staff should “create a ‘no sharing policy’ – all students should have their own supplies.” The inability to share deeply saddens me. However, some solace might be that there will be fewer disputes over what “is mine”. For that, teachers may rejoice!

Obviously online classes represent a significant departure from conventional education. Last week I was listening to a radio broadcast that was canvassing children about how Covid had impacted their time off from school and the nature of their planned return. One eleven year old girl called in and said she and her siblings cultivated a garden and had learned a great deal about plants and vegetables. She also said that although she would prefer to attend in person classes, she lived with an elderly grandmother and felt it safer to school at home. She lamented about how remote learning will keep her from in person contact with her classmates. But I was struck by her attitude. It was not resentful but rather loving: one positive outcome from Covid’s new reality.

This province has created many other reentry practices including encouraging teachers to get tested, protocols for quarantining if someone in the school tests positive, school bus etiquette, mental health outreach and and daily self screening questionnaires to name a few. New golden rules!

Regularly attending school is important, be it in the classroom or in the kitchen. Many experts favour in-person schooling but unquestionably there are circumstances that insist on in-home schooling. Administrators, teachers, students and parents face serious challenges in dealing with Covid schooling. Like so much in life, the possible outcomes of this new school year are blurry and not guaranteed. The 2020 school year seems far more uncertain than past terms.

This pandemic has created havoc with much of what previously, we have taken for granted. The first day of school is no exception. The mask wearing in-school kids will miss the smiles on the faces of their fellow students. Both the virtual learners and those in class regrettably will be denied hugs and high fives.

Beginning a new school year is about connections. Connecting with new and old friends, connecting with teachers and connecting with new knowledge. Whether physically in school or virtually accessing teachers, the usual connections associated with the first day back come with Covid regulations that will challenge our relied upon assumptions. The rules they are a’changing!

For readers who have or know of children returning to school whether physically or virtually, I invite you to email any stories you could share once the kids have settled in. I would love to hear and perhaps, with your permission, write their stories.

sassygrieve@me.com

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Sassy Blog

By K Grieve October 20, 2025
The Way We Were Inspired by a piece called “We are the Bridge” We baby boomers have lived through more change than perhaps any generation before us. Born into a world of black-and-white televisions and handwritten letters, I, like most “boomers,” oddly find myself checking facts on Google, ordering everything and anything online, and FaceTiming my grandchildren from the dock at our lake place, Alexander Point. Most of us “boomers” are well past our 60s and have maneuvered technological change and societal upheaval. We have lived through a century of change - all condensed into one lifetime. We began in an age when milk was delivered to the door, phones were attached to walls, and families gathered around the evening news. Now we live in a world where our grandchildren carry the universe in their pockets and talk to digital assistants as if they were family. I grew up in a Catholic family in Winnipeg, where the rhythm of life followed the church bells — Mass on Sundays, confession on Saturdays, and a firm belief that nuns had eyes in the back of their heads. Faith was as much about community as it was about doctrine; it shaped how we showed up for one another. Even now, I hold on to the parts that speak to compassion, social justice, and the quiet sense that we’re all meant to look out for each other. In those days, Winnipeg felt both small and vast. The kind of place where most everyone in your neighborhood knew your last name and where you were on Friday nights. Summers meant escaping the city and heading to the many magnificent Manitoba lakes or where those of us without lake access went to the free admission community swimming pool. We learned to swim, meet with friends, ride bikes, play tag, and stretch the days long past sunset. It was a world without screens or schedules. Time felt good. Then life accelerated. We watched Kennedy promise the moon and for Man actually get there. Women, including many of us, symbolically burned their bras and then stepped confidently into new careers and public life. We typed on manual typewriters, progressed to IBM Selectrics, and eventually learned to “click send.” The first time I used email, I remember thinking it felt unreal - a letter that didn’t need a stamp. We’ve seen family life reinvented, gender roles rewritten, and communication transformed from handwritten letters to emoji-laden texts. We remember when a photo meant developing film and waiting days to see if it “turned out.” Now we can take a dozen shots before breakfast and (my personal favorite) delete the ones that don’t flatter. Now, my grandchildren can find anything with a swipe of a finger, and they ask Siri questions we used to save for the Encyclopedia Britannica. When they show me how to work a new app or laugh that I “still type with two fingers,” I remind them that my generation invented the personal computer, the protest march, and the peace sign - we’re hardly “not with it.” We watched Elvis shake his hips, Kennedy inspire a nation, Martin Luther King Jr. dream, the Beatles redefine music, and Neil Armstrong “Take one step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” We questioned authority, protested wars, fought for rights, and then, almost without noticing, became the authority. And then, the impossible happened: our Dick Tracy dreams came true. We once giggled at that comic-strip detective talking into his wristwatch; now our Apple Watches tell us when to stand, remind us to breathe, and nudge us toward our daily steps. How were we to know that Maxwell Smart’s shoe phone was a precursor to today’s iPhone? Technology, once the stuff of fantasy, has become as ordinary as brushing our teeth. What amazes me most is how the threads of then and now connect. At Alexander Point, our summer retreat, I watch my grandchildren leap off the dock, their laughter echoing across the water just as mine once did when leaping into the community pool. Different time, same joy. They may post their memories instantly; I write mine down and shape them into stories, but it’s the same impulse: to remember, to share, and to belong. We baby boomers are the bridge between worlds - from the catechism to the cloud, from handwritten letters to video calls, from milkmen to meal kits. We carry the past in our bones and the future in our hands. And standing on that bridge, with a grandchild’s hand in mine and the summer wind off the lake “ruining” my hair, I can’t help but feel grateful to have lived through it all - the slow and the fast, the sacred and the digital, the then and the now. We may not dance like we once did, but we still know all the words to the songs that shaped us. We may scroll slower than the younger generation, but we still want to know what’s happening in the world…and if we pause to reflect, as boomers tend to do, we realize how lucky we are to have witnessed humanity stretch, stumble, and soar. Our phones, those sleek rectangles that never leave our sides, are more powerful than the computers that sent astronauts to the moon. We once shared one rotary phone in the kitchen, its long, twisted cord stretched around corners so we could whisper secrets. Now we carry the world in our pockets and see our grandchildren’s faces light up in real time, oceans away. Then the Internet showed up! What a game changer! It linked the world in ways we could hardly have imagined, making libraries, classrooms, and newsrooms just a click away. It amplified voices that often went unheard and opened up a world of knowledge, opportunities, and connections. But along with these benefits came a lot of noise — misinformation, division, and a constant stream of opinions. We gained immediate access to a wealth of information, yet sometimes lost that essential quiet space needed for reflection. Despite its contradictions, the Internet has transformed how we communicate. It brought us closer together and broadened the horizons of what we could learn — as long as we choose wisely about what we pay attention to. Worse still, the Internet gave cover to cruelty. The anonymity of the Internet seems to grant some people license to say things our generation would never have tolerated in public. We were taught to bite our tongues, to disagree without tearing someone down. Today, behind screens and usernames, too many speak without kindness or consequence. It’s a loss of civility that still startles me - how easily respect can evaporate when faces are hidden. It’s shocking to witness how quickly respect can vanish when people aren’t face-to-face. Even shopping has transformed from an errand to an algorithm. I remember the thrill of department stores - the clatter of hangers and the excitement of the Sears’ Christmas catalogue arriving in the mail. Today, a few taps on Amazon, and a box appears at the door by morning. I still find it astonishing- and a little sad - that convenience has replaced conversation. A. nd somewhere along the way, waiting disappeared. We used to line up at the bank on Fridays to cash our paychecks, and at McDonald’s to order a burger and fries that actually took a few minutes to cook. Now, we get restless if a website takes more than three seconds to load. Groceries arrive within hours; packages appear the next day. What once felt like luxury is now expected. We’ve become so accustomed to immediacy that patience, once a virtue, is now a shortcoming! And along comes Artificial Intelligence— this strange, brilliant new frontier. It writes, paints, answers questions, even mimics voices. Part of me is amazed: after all, it’s just another step in our long dance with progress. But another part wonders what happens when machines begin to “think” faster than we do. Will curiosity fade when answers come too easily? Will we forget how to reflect, to wrestle with ideas, to linger in uncertainty - the very things that make us human? Will one of my protégés marry an AI creation? Yet, through all of it, faith, family, technology, and time, one truth endures: connection. Whether through handwritten letters or instant messages, church basements or Zoom calls, it has always been about reaching out, holding on, staying close. The Wi-Fi at Alexander Point is often spotty, but the sunsets never fail. I watch my grandchildren leap off the “bouncy thing”, their laughter carrying across the water. I remember jumping off the cracked concrete dock that my in-laws had at their cozy cottage at White Lake in Manitoba. My grandchildren post their memories instantly; I write mine down and shape them into stories. But it’s the same impulse— to remember, to share, to belong. We baby boomers are the bridge between worlds - from catechism to cloud, from rotary dials to smartwatches, from handwritten notes to emojis. We carry the past in our bones and the future in our hands. And standing on that “bridge” with a grandchild standing beside me and the lake spread before us, I can’t help but feel grateful for the slowness that shaped us, and the speed that still surprises us.
By K Grieve May 12, 2025
My mother Marjorie ensured I grew up Catholic - deeply, thoroughly, unmistakably Catholic. The kind of Catholic that meant school uniforms, fish on Fridays, and Mass every Sunday whether you wanted to be there or not. But more than rituals and doctrine, what stayed with me - even now, when I’m no longer a practicing Catholic - is the former Pope Francis’s heartfelt call to justice, unity and looking out for the persecuted and forgotten. Those are still part of me, even if my church attendance record would suggest otherwise. I went to an all girls Catholic school, and as I recall, it was in grade 11 that I first ran afoul of my faith. Sister Agatha (pseudonym) taught us religious studies that year and she gave us an assignment to present an aspect of faith to the class. Now I can’t claim that I was a regular reader of Time magazine. But somehow I came across that publication that posed the question “Is God Dead?” on its cover. Perhaps I saw the cover of Time on a newspaper stand in the grocery store. Whatever! I somehow managed to notice the publication’s headline asking “Is God Dead?”. That sounded unabashedly provocative and at that stage of my life , I was steadfastly taking any opportunity to provoke. In light of that, I asked myself: “Why not give a talk that caused a bit of a stir? My topic was solidified: “Is God Dead?” I was naive not expect it to spark recrimination, not to mention bigger questions about change, meaning and permanence. I spoke to the class confidently and with determination, as if I really understood the topic. Waxing poetic, I somehow managed to mention some well known Jesuit priests, the Berrigan brothers, Daniel and Phillip who were antiwar activists and who came to to be part of a Catholic movement know as liberation theologians. (There is much more the the Berrigan brothers’ story. If interested read “Disarmed and Dangerous:The Radical Life and Times of Daniel and Phillip Berrigan, Brothers in Religious Faith and Disobedience”) To say the least, Sister Agatha did not think I was being clever. She was outraged. The next day she approached me in the hallway. Menacingly wagging her finger in my face, she declared I was in deep danger of losing my faith. She followed up with a phone call to my mother reiterating her concern. I was straying from the path. I might be forever lost. My mother - actually to my surprise - rose to my defense and stood up for me. She told Sister Agatha that I was thinking, questioning and engaging. “Isn’t that what faith should be?” she pronounced. “If belief can’t survive a teenager asking questions, maybe the problem isn’t the teenager. WOW!!Thanks Mom. That moment has stuck with me my whole life — not because of the challenging repercussions but because I learned what it is like to hold both tradition and curiosity in the same hand. To cherish where you came from, even as you dispute some parts of it. And despite all my doubt, despite my distance from the Church, there is one Catholic habit I have never shaken: Praying to St. Anthony. You may have heard of him? St. Anthony. He is the patron saint of lost things. You lose your keys, your wallet, a ring, an earring - you pray to St. Anthony. “Tony, Tony, look around, something’s lost and must be found.” I have endless stories of how praying to St Anthony for lost objects has mysteriously recovered the misplaced. The most recent incident involves my husband who for three days could not find his passport. Searching everywhere, retracing his steps, Ross was stymied. He carries what I call a “murse” aka a man purse. Consumed with retrieving his passport, Ross called everywhere he could remember where he had been with his passport. Interspersed with that, he kept rechecking his murse - like about 4 times. At this point I intervened. Pray to St. Anthony I told him. And I insisted he promise to donate money to a charity of his choice. Failure to pay up results in St. Anthony striking you from his “list”. “ So I was thinking $25.00” Ross said. “No way,” I replied. “A passport is worth at least $200.” It was not long after this conversation that Ross took one last dive into his murse. He came to me with an Cheshire Cat on his face. The passport was found! I have no logical explanation for this phenomena. But I have story after story where I swore I had looked everywhere, given up hope - and then, sometimes minutes or even months after that whispered prayer, the lost object was found. A necklace under a rug. A set of keys in a pocket I’d checked five times. A photo wedged between pages. Coincidence? Maybe. But I keep praying. And things keep showing up. That’s faith, in a way I think. Or maybe it’s just hope expressed differently. Either way, I find it comforting. So no, I don’t go to Mass every week. I don’t memorize encyclicals or make religious retreats. (Although I can, to this day, recite almost all of the Baltimore catechism-including listing the seven gifts of the Holy Ghost). But I do believe in social justice. I believe in community. I believe in standing up when someone tries to shut you down. I believe in mystery, and ritual, and that strange feeling when something lost is found again. And I still reach out to St. Anthony when I’ve misplaced my car keys. Some things, it seems, you never really lose.